Who and whom both refer to people, but they have different grammatical roles. Who is normally used as the subject of a verb, while whom is used as the object of a verb or preposition, especially in formal writing.
For example, “Who called you?” uses who as the subject, while “Whom did you call?” uses whom as the object.
Many people find this difference confusing because everyday English often uses who instead of whom, especially in speech.
This guide explains the simple subject-object rule, common mistakes, British and American usage, formal examples, and practical ways to choose the correct word.
Quick Answer
The easiest rule is:
Use “who” for the subject. Use “whom” for the object.
Think of it like this:
- Who = the person doing the action
- Whom = the person receiving the action
Examples
Who called you?
“Who” is doing the calling, so who is correct.
Whom did you call?
“You” are doing the calling, and the person receives the action. Therefore, whom is traditionally correct.
Who wrote this email?
The person represented by “who” wrote the email.
Whom did Sarah invite?
Sarah did the inviting. The person receives the action.
However, modern English often uses who where traditional grammar would use whom, especially in casual speech. Cambridge Dictionary notes that whom is mainly used for objects in formal styles or writing.
The Easy “He or Him” Trick
Replace who/whom with he/him.
If he sounds right, use who.
If him sounds right, use whom.
Who/Whom called?
“He called.” → Who called?
Who/Whom did you meet?
“I met him.” → Whom did you meet?
This trick makes the rule much easier to remember.
The Origin of Who vs Whom
Who and whom come from the same old English question word. Their different forms developed because English once had a much stronger system of grammatical cases.
Old English used different forms of pronouns depending on their role in a sentence. Over time, most of this case system disappeared. The distinction between who and whom, however, remained.
The modern forms developed from older Germanic forms related to words meaning “who” or “which person.” Who became the common subject form, while whom continued as the object form.
Today, the distinction is much weaker than it once was. English speakers frequently use who for both roles, particularly in conversation.
For example:
Formal: To whom did you speak?
Common: Who did you speak to?
Both are widely understood, but the first sounds more formal.
Cambridge describes whom as the object form of who and notes that it is more common in writing than in everyday speech.
British English vs American English Spelling
There is no spelling difference between British and American English for who and whom.
Both varieties spell the words:
- who
- whom
The main difference is usage and formality, not spelling.
British and American English both use who as the subject:
Who is coming to dinner?
Both can also use whom as an object in formal writing:
Whom did you contact?
In everyday American English, who is extremely common in places where traditional grammar would use whom.
British English also commonly uses who in informal speech. Formal writing can still use whom, especially after prepositions.
Comparison Table
| Feature | British English | American English |
|---|---|---|
| Subject form | who | who |
| Formal object form | whom | whom |
| Casual object form | who is common | who is common |
| After a preposition | whom is formal | whom is formal |
| Spelling | who/whom | who/whom |
| Everyday speech | who is very common | who is very common |
| Formal documents | whom may be preferred | whom may be preferred |
Cambridge specifically notes that whom is formal and is used when the person is the object of a verb or preposition.
Which Spelling Should You Use?
You do not need to choose between a British and American spelling because who and whom are spelled the same in both varieties.
Instead, choose the form based on the situation.
Use “who” for everyday English
Who are you meeting?
Who sent the message?
Who did you invite?
This sounds natural in conversation and informal writing.
Use “whom” for formal writing
Whom did you contact regarding the application?
To whom it may concern
The manager interviewed the candidates, several of whom had previous experience.
Whom can be useful in:
- Formal emails
- Academic writing
- Legal documents
- Official letters
- Professional communication
For a global audience
If your writing is meant for a broad international audience, who is usually the clearest choice when the sentence remains natural and correct.
Use whom when the formal object structure is clear or when a formal tone calls for it.
Common Mistakes with Who vs Whom
Mistake 1: Using “whom” as the subject
Incorrect:
Whom called the office?
Correct:
Who called the office?
The person is doing the action, so use who.
Mistake 2: Avoiding “whom” everywhere
Some writers believe whom is always outdated. That is not quite true.
For example:
To whom should I send the form?
This is a standard formal construction.
Mistake 3: Using “who” after every preposition
In casual speech, this is common:
Who did you speak to?
In formal writing:
To whom did you speak?
The second version places the preposition before the pronoun and uses the formal object form.
Mistake 4: Getting confused by relative clauses
Consider:
The person whom I met was very helpful.
“I met him.” Therefore, whom is traditionally correct.
But:
The person who helped me was very helpful.
“He helped me.” Therefore, who is correct.
Cambridge explains that who can be the subject or object in relative clauses, while whom is used as the object in formal styles.
Who vs Whom in Everyday Examples
In Emails
Informal:
Who should I contact about this issue?
Formal:
Whom should I contact regarding this issue?
Very formal:
To whom should I address this request?
In News Writing
News writing may use either form depending on the style:
Who is leading the investigation?
The official, whom reporters questioned, declined to comment.
The second sentence uses whom because the official receives the action of “questioned.”
On Social Media
Social media usually favors natural, conversational English:
Who are you going with?
Who did you see at the event?
Using whom in casual posts can sound more formal than necessary.
In Formal Writing
The committee selected three applicants, two of whom had international experience.
Here, whom follows “of” and refers to the people receiving the relationship expressed by the preposition.
Who vs Whom – Google Trends & Usage Data
Google Trends lets users compare search interest across countries, regions, and time periods.
For the who vs whom topic, search interest is mainly connected to English grammar questions rather than a spelling difference. People commonly search for the phrase when they want to understand the subject-object rule or decide whether whom sounds appropriate in formal writing.
The broader usage pattern is also important: who is much more common in everyday English, while whom appears more often in formal writing and constructions involving prepositions. Cambridge identifies whom as a formal object form and says it is more common in writing than in speech.
Search interest can vary by country, education level, writing context, and the type of English being studied. Google Trends data should therefore be treated as an indicator of search behavior, not as a direct measurement of how often people use each word in real-world speech or writing.
Who vs Whom Comparison Table
| Point | Who | Whom |
|---|---|---|
| Basic role | Subject | Object |
| Meaning | Which person | Which person |
| Common in speech | Yes | Less common |
| Common in formal writing | Yes | Yes |
| Used after prepositions | Sometimes | Traditionally preferred |
| Example | Who called? | Whom did you call? |
| Easy replacement | He | Him |
| Tone | Natural and general | More formal |
| British English | Used widely | Used formally |
| American English | Used widely | Used formally |
FAQS
1. What is the main difference between who and whom?
Who is traditionally used as the subject of a verb, while whom is used as the object of a verb or preposition.
2. Is “whom” still correct?
Yes. Whom is still correct, especially in formal writing and after prepositions.
3. Is “who did you call?” grammatically correct?
In everyday modern English, who did you call? is very common. In traditional formal grammar, whom did you call? is preferred because the pronoun is the object of “call.”
4. Is “who” more common than “whom”?
Yes. Who is much more common in everyday speech and is also used in many informal written contexts. Cambridge notes that whom is less common and more formal.
5. Should I use whom in a formal email?
You can use whom when it is grammatically appropriate, especially in formal constructions such as to whom or of whom.
6. How can I quickly remember who vs whom?
Use the he/him test. If he fits, choose who. If him fits, choose whom.
7. Is whom used in British and American English?
Yes. Both British and American English use whom, mainly in formal writing and formal speech. The spelling is the same in both varieties.
Conclusion
Who and whom are both correct English pronouns, but they traditionally have different roles. Use who when the person is the subject, or the person doing the action.
Use whom when the person is the object, especially in formal writing or after a preposition. The simple he/him test can help you choose quickly: he = who, while him = whom.
In everyday speech, who is widely used instead of whom, so context and tone matter. For more help with confusing English words, read our related guide on who vs whoever.
The practical takeaway is to focus on sentence function, not just sound.
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